Sometimes, I am just too dumb to understand what they say.

Other times, I understand what others are trying to say but do not accept the ideology.

Sometimes, I feel, theories should not be told unless true.

Sometimes, I feel, I should just keep quiet.

Other times, I feel like I'm history.

But please please, do not misunderstand me, for this is not a post of the angst a teenager would feel; it would be meaningless, no one would want to read it. The things that one experience in their daily life is always unexpected and surprising.

Isn't it nice to be looked down upon, when you're at the bottom what other way can you go? As people always say, the higher you climb the harder you fall, so why bother? Just sink into oblivion, allow the dark abyss to take you in for it is comforting, sedating and embracing. Demeaning, yes, but Smile:)

Theory : Number of hours spent with a book in hand would determine how intelligent you are as it goes to show how much time you need to understand a text or a piece of information. Grades and results are an ideal measure of your intelligence as well as the life path that you should and OUGHT to take. Now, take a minute to digest that. To some, that makes no sense, to others (hypocrites) ideas such as this is just discriminatory and stupid, it is not true ( but they still use it... to judge others). Whereas, the more innocent and mature ones, would look at it, understand and reflect. Reflect on what they have done with regards to the above mention theory; feel sorry for what they did in the past and carry on with life in hope that they would not be guilty to the crime again.

Now, have anyone ever asked you if you are happy? Cause i know I am, and i also know that i am lying. How can one be happy with all the classroom politics and taxing lifestyle where the pace is so often too fast for one to keep up? Would studying or perhaps, playing, satisfy your greed for happiness? I have no answer for that because everything that you see here, my enquiring reader, are just thoughts of a dense and dim boy. It seems almost as if it would be an honour to bequeath these thoughts to ANYONE who is willing to read.

Last question, am I needed, by anyone at all? This is not a philosophical question where one would come up with all the theories that "you are here for a purpose, to bring love and hope to- whatnots". It's a rigid question where the answers are merely a yes or a no. Yes pointing to someone who wants me and No which consequences i don't want to know.

Everyday presents a plethora of emotions, positive and negative, engaged in an epic war between the two. On lousy days, negative emotions wins and I would pray for rainfall, cool and soothing dark skies to take comfort in whereas on better days, I would smile and be glad that I am such. Typical of an "emo" teenager? Something that you would see on a daily-basis?

It's up to the reader to think or forget. I'm supposed to be studying history right now, but i guess, there's no need for that anymore for I am history, living and breathing it every moment.